The Reader
Hello strangers, I'm Mary Evangeline. (:
Just call me Mary for short
Studied in Holy Innocents' Primary School
Primary 1-4F, 5D and 6H
And Holy Innocents' High School
Secondary 1-2 Charity and 3-4 Integrity
Currently studying in Nanyang Poly
In the process of becoming a nurse!
CCA were brownies, choir and voice ensemble
I play the piano
Oh, And proud to be a Roman Catholic
Bible verse
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I'm really tired...so tired that i just wanna shut the whole world up. i really feel like crying at times, but its rather stupid thought right? just only sees how weak i am and how childish too. but enough is enough...i really don't know how i'm going to carry on another few more weeks with this group arrangement. its really gonna take a toll on me...
at first i thought everything can go smoothly. obviously that was really totally wrong after that incident. and i thought everything was cleared up after a while. guess i was wrong again...i really wonder why our group has such problems, while the rest are going smoothly. why we just can't get along well, why we have to fight and quarrel and disagree every time we have a meeting. i just don't get it you know...we should get it clear that we choose whether to be in the group or not. and we all chose to do group work together. it was our choice, so i don't get it why can't we get along. i really wanna scream sometimes you know...even better just cry.
why every time we have a meeting, someone will complain. a group work meant that we should all get together and discuss right? so i don't get it why people disagree. i'm sorry if i always sound so bossy and such, but sometimes i really don't get, how long do you all wanna delay the work till? until the day before?
why should i take charge of planning meetings and such if the rest don't wanna follow, or even speak up? i really wonder cause it really waste my efforts. but if no one in the group speaks up or take the initiative to plan these things, i really wonder who would?! and some say i worry too much. excuse me for worrying so much ok.
but have you thought that i was doing something for the group? have you thought if i never took the initiative to plan the meetings and distribute the work equally, will anyone do it? sure...we all will do it...only last minute right? last minute rush and give a piece of crap work isit? i refuse to do that...because i really want all of us to do well. i really do. just that i don't seem to even get the cooperation i need. i don't mind people having their say whether they agree or disagree with me in the planning but no one ever told me that...its either a don't know or why are we doing it now...later lor. indifference or slackness. its either one. if anyone wants to plan meetings and make arrangements i'll gladly step back, or maybe we can talk things out and work together. but no one has said that to me yet. reasons i wanna have meet ups is to either talk about the datelines we have for our projects. from there we can start planning when to do it, when to meet up. or another reason for meet-ups is to see if we're going the right direction by looking at our points again. whats the point of doing a project if we're not in the right way?
but everytime we have meetings, i don't know...whether i'm the only one who felt it. i don't get the respect i want. is it that hard for everyone to just stop doing their things for that few minutes in meetings and discuss? why everytime i start to discuss, someone will be doing their own things. on their laptops playing games, on msn, reading newspapers, playing psp, doing other things except talking about the main point? we all say yeah we're listening but after that, we still ask questions about the topic we were suppose to discuss. thats why some are so put off by all this actions. i do feel really put off by these actions you know. cause i'm really trying very hard to engage all of you in the conversation. i don't mind if our minds do stray away from the topic at times, but it always happen and it always for the whole meeting.
if you all want, then i shall not say anything next time. i'll leave it to you all to do the planning and meet ups. i'll just go along with you then. because i really can't take it, everytime we have a project, i always worry whether you all have done your part finish. whether we can meet up to go through once through. whether you all have problems in the parts. because i want things to go smoothly for our group. its not that i don't trust you all or anything. but i really just worry for all of us. but it can't be everytime got a problem, we leave it aside or something.
we can bring it up to our mentor if you like...but i actually feel that yes, it may solve our problems but have you thought about the rest of our class? we all just started working together only. and now we want to change groups? yeah...we're kinda selfish in a way...cause we only thought about ourselves.
i don't know...i'm really tired. everytime before going to school, i always feel a sense of hesistation. i don't wanna go for classes to face the team members, cause i don't feel any sense of belonging. and sometimes i feel like shit.
oh...and i am sorry for the first incident that happen. shouldn't have lost my temper...perhaps that was why our group did not click together.
1:26 PM